HUMOR
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10 Things I Hate About ADHD
By Bryan Hutchinson
A quick, humorous read about the symptoms of ADHD. It will make you laugh and might make you cry, but almost everyone will agree that it is SPOT ON!
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Anthropocentric
By Simon Allington-Jones
Byron; not a poet, nor a romantic. Death; she has more hang ups than a wardrobe. An indifference game of love, power, betrayal,
and self-loathing in this warming comedy about one of man’s biggest questions: What do you mean the world doesn’t revolve around me?
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Arabian Nights
By Tom Hayes
Two Americans, Russ and John, begin an illegal liquor production /distribution scheme in Al Rabbad, a fundamentalist Middle Eastern country.
Sound insane? Well, their business partner is none other than the local prince, Ahmed, and his portly American lover, Ricci, who hope the venture
will help make Ahmed king. Along the road to the throne, John falls in love with Ahmed’s wife, Teekra, who is plotting her revenge against Awad,
the king of Al Rabbad. Maybe John doesn’t get “it,” but Russ is there to give him a push in the right direction when the time comes in this irreverent
comic adventure ...
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Best American Humorous Short Stories
By Various
Wherever there is an italic, the hickory descended. It fell about as regularly and after the fashion of the stick beating upon the bass drum during a funeral march. But the beast, although convinced that something serious was impending, did not consider a funeral march appropriate for the occasion. He protested, at first, with vigorous whiskings of his tail and a rapid shifting of his ears.
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Coffee
By Samuel Plahetka
A strange e-book, with a lot of tongue-in-cheek humor. No mainstream publisher would accept, though they all seemed to like it. It has lesbians, kidnapping, a futuristic world, and coffee addiction.
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Coma
By Tom Hayes
John West has it all ... a beautful girl, a great job he loves, a wonderful life. But is it all just a hallucination?
After six years in a coma, John wakes up to find his beautiful life swept away in a storm of experimental drugs, and
he has no recollection of his pre-coma existence.His choice is clear: stay in a drab world not of his making and beyond his control,
or return to his happy life in the "other" world. Coma is a comedy that challenges our everyday conceptions of reality, god,
love, George Bush and other illusions.
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Crotchet Castle
By Thomas Love Peacock
In this comedy of love and manners Mr. Crotchet finds it essential to furnish himself with a coat of arms.
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DON'T BET ON IT
BY ROBERT S. SWIATEK
Just about everyone plays the lottery games, hoping to strike it rich. The odds against winning are astronomical. But what would occur if a lotto game happened
to be fixed? The chances of taking home the big prize would now be almost zero, even less than before. This is the tale of just that possibility.
This is a novel about politics, gambling, deception, technology, fear and food. It is fiction and the characters are not real, but the information contained within
dealing with odds, statistics, computers and lotteries are fact. If you play the lottery, by all means read this book. Even if you are not a gambler, you should
still be enlightened and have a new outlook about games of chance.
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For seeing eye dogs only
A non-fiction treatise on intelligence
BY ROBERT S. SWIATEK
A teacher attended a conference in Chicago some time ago. At the end of the week, he got a ride to the airport and flew
to Buffalo. Upon his arrival home, he sensed that something was not right. It didn't take him too long to realize that his car
was missing. He had left it in the windy city.
While in college, I saw a professor park his convertible in the lot with his top down. This was of the car and not of his
head. He was on the way to class, but he stopped and went back to the vehicle. He had forgotten something. He got the briefcase
and then proceeded to lock the car.
On another occasion, a guy messed up by locking his keys inside his van. After a while, he managed to get inside the vehicle and get his family out.
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here's your free gift - send $10 for shipping
BY ROBERT S. SWIATEK
This is another book on the three "Ls": language, laughter and lunacy. Almost a sequel to for seeing eye dogs
only and wake up - it's time for your sleeping pill, this is the last of the three books. Note the Doberman on the back
cover, which can be found on each of those books. I really put him through hell, first skydiving, then health care and
finally the postal service. It is possible that I will do another similar book in the future - but only by popular demand.
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I Don't Want to Be a Pirate - Writer, maybe
BY ROBERT S. SWIATEK
Children are hereditary - if your parents didn't have any, you won't either.
Langston Hughes wrote a book called, I Wonder As I Wander, which I thought was excellent and had a great title.
The more I read, the more amazed I am by the appropriateness of the titles given to so many books. It
almost seems as though there is a title meister out there who reads books and then comes up with these gems. You'll see
some of the explanations for my book titles as you read on.
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Knock Knock... Who's Joking
BY Clean-short-funny-jokes
A riotous collection of one liners, short jokes, and the A to Z of top quality knock knock jokes.
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Mom Letters
By Jack Brackitt
Dear Mom,
Last night we had a big blizzard. Once it was over, I walked through 21.6" of snow and returned three videos.
Karen: Did they clear the sidewalks south of us?
Me: I didn’t have to walk that direction.
Karen: Where’d you drop off those videos?
Me: Uh oh. Did I go to the wrong place?
Karen: Yes! Can you go back out? We don’t want to get lost video charges.
So, I tromped all over the neighborhood and straightened it out. The worst part: I couldn’t think of anyone to blame.
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Ode To The Fanatical Golfer
By Kevin D. Rolle
A sports humor ebook focusing on golf comedy/fanaticsm.
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People Would Buy Tickets
By: Joey D. Ossian
No one told me, but it did not take long to realize that I was no better than many of the inmates. In fact, a large
number of the inmates I have come to know over the past several years are serving time for less serious crimes than
many of us get away with on a regular basis. There are some, I dare say, that are fl at-out much better people than
I will ever be. Eventually, you grow out of the fear, and realize that you are probably as safe on the inside as you are
on the free-side, depending entirely on your communication skills, your desire to preserve your credibility, and your
ability to respect your fellow human beings.
People Would Buy Tickets is a collection of humorous short stories tied together with a plot line of one co-worker investigating another
as a part time private investigator.
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Press 1 for Pig Latin
BY ROBERT S. SWIATEK
If you think that technology is fine the way it is, you probably don't own a PC or phone.
We have seen great advances in technology over the last century but unfortunately, the innovation has resulted in many problems.
Highlighting the automobile, television, computer, the telephone and the bomb, Swiatek's new book discusses the pitfalls as well
as offering solutions to clean up the mess that the people themselves have been responsible for.
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Take Back the Earth - The Dumb, Greedy Incompetents Have Trashed It
BY ROBERT S. SWIATEK
Corporations have to realize that it is not in their best interest to create some of the products they do. They must also see that it does them no good to dump their poisonous
wastes with the hope that no one will bring a lawsuit against them. At the same time, we the citizens of the world need to pitch in and do our part. You may think that your small
contribution won’t be significant or make any difference, but it will. If we all work together, we can "Take Back The Earth."
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The Dirty Little eBook of Sex Quotes
by Mark Zedler
The Dirty little eBook of Sex Quotes is the ultimate source for the best sex quotes around. This eBook is organized into 30 categories for quick easy reference. This eBook has it all:
Dirty Sex, Bisexuality, Money, Chastity, The Tao of Sex, Safe Sex, Relationships and many more categories. All told, this eBook contains well over 200 of the best sex quotes around.
As an added bonus this eBook not only makes for great reading it is also very visually appealing!
"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on." declared Marilyn Monroe illustrating her wonderful sense of humour. Kevin Costner suggested "Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even
if you're not good at them." And let’s not forget Ken Hammond who once remarked "What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? 'Honey, I'm home'."
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The "Read My Lips" Cookbook:A Culinary Journey Of Memorable Meals
BY ROBERT S. SWIATEK
What makes this cookbook different from all the rest?
Certainly you can find books that emphasize the four aforementioned requirements: easy to fix, good, economical
and great taste (less filling is not required.) You can also find many cookbooks with plenty of good hints for success in the
kitchen. Didn't someone on the Mary Tyler Moore show mention that a good performance in the kitchen would result in being rewarded in the . . . never mind!
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This Page Intentionally Left Blank - Just Like the Paychecks of the Workers
BY ROBERT S. SWIATEK
Not long ago, 24/7 actually became a word. Don't blame me; it certainly wasn't my idea. I think it's time to say Sayonara
to it, since it just hasn't worked and probably should more realistically be described as el toro crappo. How about
replacing it with 30/15? The 30 represents the number of hours in the new workweek and the 15 stands for the number of dollars in the new minimum wage.
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This War Won't Cost Much - I'm Already Against the Next One
BY ROBERT S. SWIATEK
I am not sure why I didn't hear the news sooner since I usually have the radio on in the car. Perhaps I was listening
to a cassette or else I had on the Toronto FM jazz station as I was traveling on the interstate into the city. I got to the
library and was headed to the front desk to turn in some books and CDs. As I walked past the TV monitors, I noticed
people congregating. I soon discovered that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center in New York.
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TICK TOCK, DON'T STOP: A MANUAL FOR WORKAHOLICS
BY ROBERT S. SWIATEK
He works sixteen hours a day, seven days a week.
Where did the time go?
A woman's work is never done.
I've got to keep busy.
I'm swamped with work.
There aren't enough hours in the day.
A man works from sun to sun.
I don't have the time.
I have got to run.
She is a slave to her work.
Time waits for no man.
She's just so busy.
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Wake Up - it's time for your sleeping pill
BY ROBERT S. SWIATEK
"Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I
feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the
workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I
didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their
dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this
beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry
about my liver." - Babe Ruth
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NOOK, THE BEST EREADER
By Barnes and Nobles
Read all the books you download from here... on your couch, in bed, in the subway or in the bus. Take it with you everywhere you go in your pocket.
It can hold thousands of books. Once you have it, you can download thousands of books for free directly into your nook.
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